Monday, March 9, 2009

Umph

Not sure how I feel about Sparkpeople...

We are Week #4 and I weigh more, yep more, not less!  
I do like that I have tracked everything so I can look back and see where I went wrong.  

Start Weight 140.  Lowest weight in 3 weeks 138.5 - stayed there for 4 days straight.  Then it's 140 - are you kidding me - again? Now 142.  I weigh myself at the same time each day.  It's not like I have even eaten enough calories to go from 138.5 to 142 in two days - WTF.  

So today I don't even care anymore - I try my best and up she goes up and up.  So tonight I had to take a client out, we go for Sushi - and I stop eating when my internal voice tells me I'm full.  I've never even heard that voice before.  I'm like what??  Shaking my head what did you say?  I'm full?  Yes that's what you said?  Oh right, got it, yes I am full  stop eating.  Put the chop sticks down, now.  

I haven't weighed the portions this evening, I don't know how many calories each delightful piece has before I have put it in my mouth.  I haven't accounted for the soy sauce, the wasabi, or the ginger.  I'm just eating, eating and enjoying, oh it is soo good. 

I haven't even obsessed over the calories in Sparkpeople, I haven't put a glass of wine in then taken it back out, then back in again.   I just go to dinner and enjoy.  I love sushi so I keep on eating and enjoying it - but why do I feel guilty?  And what will the scale show in the morning?  Look what happens when I am good and count every morsel before it goes in my mouth.

Ok so if I think about this logically what changes do I need to make?  What am I doing wrong?  How can I improve?  How can I fix this?
1.  water - drink it
2.  add strength training 3 x a week
3.  Eat more????  Is that what I need?  I don't know.  Is that possible? Ouch - that might be hard.  I am only eating 1500 cals right now, and on what I call bad days (1x a week, maybe) 1800 but this is all within the range - argh...how come I can't get this right?  I thought this was the scientific approach
4.  ???? what else can I do to get the scale to move in the right fucking direction??? I thought I was doing all the right things but apparently I am not.
5.  Patience - the fairy godmother will land next week and there will be a 4 pound reduction in the scale - and this would land me where I need to be on that damn red line.  I was on the red line three days ago.... why am I now way above it? argh!!!!!  Starting from the beginning again - but it feels like I have even further to go.  

1 comment:

Kari said...

Sorry you are having a tough time. Keep pushing through. Exactly how much water do you drink? They say take your body weight and divide it by two and that is what you could aim for. Also you mentioned adding strength training which is a great idea, what are you doing for cardio? And one other thing I was wondering is how did you come up with the 1500 calories. Have you actually calculated out your needs based off your weight, activity, etc.? Hope things start looking up for you...and wow are you brave to weigh yourself every day. I'd be a freaking mess if I did that. Just remember soy sauce = salt = potential to gain!
Make it a great day!