Sparkpeople

Greetings...

I am having success with Sparkpeople and have moved my weight loss journey to the blog on sparkpeople - everything in one place.  Keeping It Simple!  If you care to conitinue following my journey this is the link

http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage.asp

Continuation of Umph - The Data

I have been looking over the data for the past three weeks to see where I went wrong.  To see if there is anything else that I can be doing to make the scale go in the other direction.

here it is  - This is my weight over the past three weeks.

Calories over the last three weeks.

Umph

Not sure how I feel about Sparkpeople...

We are Week #4 and I weigh more, yep more, not less!  

I do like that I have tracked everything so I can look back and see where I went wrong.  

Start Weight 140.  Lowest weight in 3 weeks 138.5 - stayed there for 4 days straight.  Then it's 140 - are you kidding me - again? Now 142.  I weigh myself at the same time each day.  It's not like I have even eaten enough calories to go from 138.5 to 142 in two days - WTF.  

So today I don't even care anymore - I try my best and up she goes up and up.  So tonight I had to take a client out, we go for Sushi - and I stop eating when my internal voice tells me I'm full.  I've never even heard that voice before.  I'm like what??  Shaking my head what did you say?  I'm full?  Yes that's what you said?  Oh right, got it, yes I am full  stop eating.  Put the chop sticks down, now.  

I haven't weighed the portions this evening, I don't know how many calories each delightful piece has before I have put it in my mouth.  I haven't accounted for the soy sauce, the wasabi, or the ginger.  I'm just eating, eating and enjoying, oh it is soo good. 

I haven't even obsessed over the calories in Sparkpeople, I haven't put a glass of wine in then taken it back out, then back in again.   I just go to dinner and enjoy.  I love sushi so I keep on eating and enjoying it - but why do I feel guilty?  And what will the scale show in the morning?  Look what happens when I am good and count every morsel before it goes in my mouth.

Ok so if I think about this logically what changes do I need to make?  What am I doing wrong?  How can I improve?  How can I fix this?

1.  water - drink it

2.  add strength training 3 x a week

3.  Eat more????  Is that what I need?  I don't know.  Is that possible? Ouch - that might be hard.  I am only eating 1500 cals right now, and on what I call bad days (1x a week, maybe) 1800 but this is all within the range - argh...how come I can't get this right?  I thought this was the scientific approach

4.  ???? what else can I do to get the scale to move in the right fucking direction??? I thought I was doing all the right things but apparently I am not.

5.  Patience - the fairy godmother will land next week and there will be a 4 pound reduction in the scale - and this would land me where I need to be on that damn red line.  I was on the red line three days ago.... why am I now way above it? argh!!!!!  Starting from the beginning again - but it feels like I have even further to go.  

Why?

I have stayed within my calorie range, but the past three days I've shown a gain everyday...how discouraging!!!

Just venting....I'll stick with this scientific method for another couple weeks - but this is certainly making me want to try another crazy hair brained scheme...why???  Because I want results.  

When I look back at my before and after pics from Feb and January - I got those results using the Wedding DAy Diet.  Did it suck?  Yes.  Did I get results?  Yes.

OHHH    Give me the willpower to keep up with this!!!

Balance in Chaos

Don't we all want balance?

I wanna feel like I am paying attention to the things that matter. Family, relationships, people.  The real things...  I want to focus and work hard when I should.  Stop procrastinating, stop daydreaming and start doing.  Stop the negative talk.  Enjoy your downtime and work smart during work time.  I find when I am productive at work I find that I can relax and enjoy the downtime.  (Ya... as I sit at the computer wanting to get a head start on tomorrows day but yes I am procrastinating).  My intentions are good, they are always good, need some follow through now.

Steady and consistent actions create the balance that I am looking for.  Create the plan and the benefits will follow.

And then there was Pie

Yes.  Pie and lots of it.  All different kinds or pie.  Lemon Meringue, Chocolate, Cherry, Blueberry, Apple and there were two of these baby's.  In the kitchen at work.  The resident pie lady made, get this, 6 pies.  6 pies were sitting in the kitchen and I had two pieces...very small pieces, but still a whopping 300 calories each.  I have managed to stay within goal - I'm at about 1700 calories, I just can't eat anything else tonight, I better go to bed!

I did an elliptical workout when I got home to burn 560 cals....but hey, I didn't blow it, I'm still within range.

Spark People

I love this!  

Tracking calories.

Tracking workouts.

Tracking goals.

And such a great format!  What else could I ask for?

It has been a fabulous weekend!  The vacation sure did me a world of good.  And eating, getting to eat is awesome.  I love eating.  I still have a couple hundred point to eat tonight, yeah!

According to my Spark People, my calories intake should be between 1680 - 2030 - nice!  

Things that I love to eat.

Fruit, bagels, jam, fruit, pasta - these are no longer off limits.  Tonight I made eggplant parm.  It was delish!  I even have some for lunch tomorrow...:)

Workouts have been great - burning 1000 cals doing HIIT on the elliptical - taking me btwn 34 and 36 minutes to complete!

I missed the cardio when I was away - who would have thunk?

Happy Family Day Canada! 

We are so lucky!

That's a lot of calories...I think! I need a counter.

BMR = 1437

Moderate activity x 1.5 =  2228

Light activity x 1.375 = 1977

If I take away 500 calories a day I'm still between 1477-1728, and my workout schedule will be an incentive to eat more...:) yeah!  This is good!

Ok I will I keep track of the calories? MMMM do I need to track fat, carbs, protein etc?  Yeah probably, I'll have to check out the counters, I don't want to spend hours recording my food everyday, but I do need to see the progress and what I actually get to enjoy following this sensible plan.  

I'm getting excited....I am eating tonight, not major bingeing, more like crazing...I am so looking forward to enjoying some yummy food!

Mojitos, Pina Coladas, and Methods

Well I am back from the vacay...it was wonderful.  I am happy to report a only a two pound gain.  Yep two pounds, that's it.  Quite surprising considering the amount of cocktails and carbs that I consumed.  The food was questionable and many times I found myself eating bread and butter...mmm yummy.  I was prepared for a larger number on the scale, but this morning I was quite surprised.

Today I find myself not only wanting to smoke, that's another story, but bingeing as well.  Sweets of course.  The issue here is that I have no plan.  My vacation is over and now I don't know which plan to follow.  Yes I am done with the Wedding Day Diet, but what plan will be right for me.

I know what I want... I want to eat food.  I want to loose 10 more pounds in the next 6 months and I don't want to obsess.  I want a good balance of food exercise etc.  I have "done" the zone before and liked it - the one draw back about the zone was the requirement for protein in absolutely every meal or snack...this can be quite rigid as there is no wiggle room here.  I tried weight watchers a years ago, not sure what plan it was the I followed, I know I didn't count points, and remembered that I ate a lot.  I like eating and want to be able to eat a variety of foods.  I am sick an tired if depriving myself, there is no need. 

How many calories can I eat per day and sill lose 10 pounds in 6 months...what is the BMR method?  How do I calculate what I can eat and still lose??

What method should I be following to maintain the sanity?

After and Before... whatever

Goals for February

1.  No more self destructive plans ie:  The Wedding Day Diet where you can only eat green veg for carbs - this is not normal and just creates the urge for me to binge - why?  Well because I am depriving of course....so 1st Goal - NO MORE CRAZY ALL OR NOTHINGS PLANS - they don't work.

2.  Eat 5 times a day.  I need my snacks - they prevent the binge later on.

3.  Burn 500 cals in cardio 5 x a week

4.  Strength Train

 Program 1 - 2 X a week

 Program 2- 2 X a week

Kickin It Up a Notch

Had a fabulous weekend.  Got some really good workouts in.  Practicing HIIT on the Elliptical while listening to the IPOD, and I kept going and going and going, just like the little energizer bunny.  Did 2 40 minutes sessions yesterday and burned over 1000 calories.  Even woke up this morning and got 20 minutes in, while burning 500 calories.  This is where it's at for me right now....cardio.  We leave Wednesday night for Cuba :)>.

Day 4

Spent some time today reading all the wonderful blogs out there. Got me to thinking about this journey of accountability and why I am here in the fist place.  Balance.  Health.  Me.  Commitment.  These are some of the words running through the head, there are many more but sometimes I can't quite catch them.  I need to stop and try, someday...

Took some pics today.  Last picture were taken about two weeks ago, so I am hoping to see some differences.  

I need to start embracing this journey.  Stop looking for quick fixes.

DAY 3

Day 3 was a snow Day.  Followed the meal plan, got my exercise in, Yeah!  But the scale shows 139.5 on Day 4 - WTF!!  

Take a deep breath - keep doing what you are doing.  1 week till take off.  Keep focused for Day 4.

Day 2

Another great day.  Goals accomplished!  Worked out, ate well!  Tried my best.  Tomorrow - focus at work - get it done and move forward.

The 10 Day Challenge

Ok.  It is official, I have booked the trip and we are going.  Just hubby and I - off to Cuba, where we will spend a week filled with sunshine, swim up bars, cycling, laughing, walking, talking, sex, did I mention lots of sex.  Hubby and I have not had a week to ourselves in 10 years.  

So where am I with my plan?  Today I weighed 138, I know another gain.   I have stepped in up a notch and have entered into the 10 Day Challenge.  Do my best for 10 days.  That's it.  Work out everyday.  Cardio and strength - easy peasy!!!  It better be!  I look at the pics of me in the bikini - if I can even call it that with the silly little skirt and there is work to do - what can I do in 10 days though - that is the question.  Ok so work out - check.  Done, completed for Monday, cardio and strength.  Eating - did well - remember few weeks ago I spent what $50 bucks on that wedding day diet, I am following those principles today.  Protein, fat and green veg - no other carbs.  Again 10 days thats it.  When I get back - the diet will be less strict because I want oatmeal for breakfast and the ability to have eat WW bagels and breads.   But I'll worry about that later. But for now...gotta do what I gotta do.

I created this blog late last year - when I gained 13 pounds in 10 days.  Lack on control - this was me - I just let everything go.  i have since reigned myself back in - and can't seem to get where I need to be.   Since starting this blog and reading other blogs, I see my all or nothing attitude.  If I can't do it right then I might as well destroy everything - what I have learned is that I seek some balance in my life.  Balance with eating, yes.  Balance with family, most definitely, balance with work.  I seek balance and harmony in my life.  To feel good about me, my body, my choices, to feel good about my family, to feel that I am accomplishing what my family needs form me, whether it be food, household organization, me time, etc I need to feel or better yet try an find the balance in all these components of my life.

The Flu Bug

Well, its January and I have the flu bug...yuck!  No eating right, no exercising.  snot rags,  Advil Cold and Sinus, baths, diet coke and "Angry Housewives Eating Bon Bons" by Lorna Landvik. Fantastic book, great company when feeling like crap.

Next week will be a better week.  Exercise, eating right and positive thoughts.  I am down a pound and a half - who knew?  My goal fro my trip was 130, seeing as I leave in 11 days and weigh 136.5 - not sure this can be reached safely in the next 11 days.  So here is my commitment - starting 2morrow, yes 2morrow as I still like crap 2day, 20 mins of cardio everyday and my 20 minute strength training - from Monday to Friday.  This means a workout in the morning and a workout in the evening.  I can do it!!!!

How Quickly Things Change

Have not worked out, have not eaten according to the plan.  Why is it so easy to fall off the routine?

Two weeks and I leave on holidays.

I feel like crap today, definitely coming down with something.

Feeling overwhelmed at work too! I need to go to bed and get some rest.  Keep trying, just because I slipped does not mean I have to completely fall and wipe out.

Things I need to focus on

1.  Pay Bills - Sunday

2.  Book Trip - Sunday

3.  Learn how to voice dial on BlackBerry

4.  What is the boy doing for the weekend - tonight

5.  Weekly Report - tonight 

6.  The Boy - lactose free milk - email Dad - done

7.  Laundry - now

Uh oh!

It all started on Friday, I was out for lunch, with my bmob - she leaves on Tuesday and we had Sushi....mmmmm.  then I proceeded to have apple pie.  Not good!

Saturday - what was I thinking, I wasn't and started binge eating.  Mostly sweets.  Tomorrow will be a new day.

Sunday - ate a meal late, and could not stop, started with crackers, then sweets, I'm still craving sugar and carbs

Scale Envy

Loved the scale this morning...138.5 yeah, I'm getting there.  Three weeks and I am off on vacay, and there is still work to be done.

Diet going well.  Eating 21 grams of protein and 14 grams of fat for 5 meals.  Unlimited green veggies at meal time.

I think Sunday will be my carb day again.  Steel cut oats, apples mmmyummy.  

Workout went great tonight.  I am getting the hang of this set, was able to do 2 reps of 12 on almost every exercise.  

Next strength training session will be on Saturday morning.

Do I dare the scale in the morning?

I love this diet, I still have one more meal.

Trucking Along

Tomorrow I will weigh again, looking for results people, looking for results.  i freaked out last Wednesday when the scale showed a lousy drop, I would like a pound and a half atleast...please!!!

Carb Up Day

Well yesterday was carb up day, yum yum!

According to the Wedding Day Diet, carb up day should consist of your weight x 1.5 - My goal was 210 carbs spread throughout 5 meals.  With carb up day you want to cut the fat to compensate for the extra calories in the carbs.  

My carbs consisted of apples, banana's, steel cut oats, WW bread with fruit jam (mmm that was yummy).

The scale kind freaked me out this morning, up a pound and a half since last weigh in - I should not have weighed myself, I know...argh!  When will I learn.

Today I am back to nuts and bolts of the Wedding Day Diet.  

I need to eat 105 grams of protein (throughout 5 meals), 56 grams of fat (throughout 4 meals) 1 meal has no fat, this is the post workout meal.  And of course unlimited GREEN vegetables...this has been interesting!  This is the Kick ASS fat burning Diet, and this had better work!  

Last week I did this process Thursday, Friday and Saturday - what I forgot to do, and I forgot this morning as well was to eat a piece of fruit.  I am allowed one piece of fruit and this should be eaten in the morning.  Tomorrow I will remember!

I will weigh myself on Wednesday and see how things are.  

The Wedding Day Diet

Wednesday's weigh in got me thinking...I need to lose fat and I need to lose it fast.  I got on the information filled highway and started researching...what I have come up with is the the Wedding Day Diet.  Basically I am not eating carbs, with the exception of green veggies.  I do have carb days, but all carbs have to be good carbs.  It is drastic, yes.  But I need to take drastic measures in order to meet me goals.  After reading the science behind the glucose, and no I won't bore you, I know I can do this.  If i feel spaced out because my glucose levels are down, I'll have a carb day.  In order to get good fat burning by reducing carbs, I have to have low carbs for a minimum of three days - that I can do!  This is when burning fat is at its highest (i think anyway) If I feel low energy in the morning when I wake, I can have some fruit. 

So I started this on Thursday...did I mention I paid $68 CAD to download this diet and then later found free articles about this process, anyways this is what happens when you are desperate.

I had hubby take some pics in my bathing suit, and I hate the fat that has collected around my waist, like a tire.  I have just under 4 weeks to get rid of this.

This is the first time I have documented any sort of weight loss.  

I have not maintained my everyday cardio, but will get back to that today, going for a cardio session after blogging.  

I got on the scale this morning, I had to.  I needed to know that this was working, that this new eating plan was going to give me the results that I am looking for.  And guess what?  It did, I am down to 139, nice to be in the 130's again.  I can remember a time when I would cringe if I was in the 130's, oh how things change.  The scale is moving in the right direction!!!!  this of course makes me happy.

Weigh In Day

Are you kidding me...1/2 a pound!!  I am so irritated with that!  Ok - I have a whole week to get ready for the next weigh in.  I need to drink more water...other than that I am doing all the right things!  but oh am I mad!!!!!

I have four more weigh ins till I leave - Each weigh in has to be a minimum of 2 pounds...even that is only 8 pounds and will bring me to 133.  I want to be 130.  Come on I need to do this.  What do I need to stop eating now?  umph!

Anticipating Weigh in Day

Today's pics...

Ok.  I have not weighed myself since Jan 2...and I am so looking forward to tomorrow morning, well I better be.   Wednesdays are going to be my official weigh in days.   I have to be down another 3 pounds at least, I have to be 138.5 or less.  I'm not having another workout today.  I am tired and need to rest to keep up the morning workout (aerobic exercise).  Ok so tomorrow is the 7th - that means 5 days since a weigh in.  Ok think, I guess 3 pounds is not a realistic goal, but look at the rapid weight loss I had prior to that...argh the mind wont shut off.  Good thing is, I know that I have done what I needed to do.

Consistency is Key

Have managed not to weigh thyself...I'm scared that the number has gone up....ahhh!!  There is no reason it should though...Food intake has been good and I've been keeping track of everything and I'm anywhere between 1100-1350 calories.  I'm getting adequate protein and and I am shaking my stuff and getting some exercise.  

Was able to do two sets of 10 today instead of just one...so there is improvement...Ok I have to be proud of all this...One full week of consistent good healthy and satisfying eating and some real effort with the movin and the shakin.  Wednesday is my scheduled weigh in day....I lost so much right off the bat, and I know the next bit will not come off that quick, it will come off but i need  to want it to work at it.

Last Holiday Day!!!

The Holidays are officially over.  We've had the last supper, made by Mr Dent and it was awesome.  Curry, curry and more curry.  I did not keep track of the calories, as I couldn't.  All ok!  No workout yesterday, but I am entitled to 1 day off right.  No worries, I was back on the elliptical again this morning for a session.

Keep Going...

Well I needed to step on the scale today, I needed to see the number move farther down, and it did thank goodness.  Down another 1/2 pound.

I started the intense workout from the book today.  I did one set of the 20 minute workout, it took me twenty minutes, and I was suppose to do 2 sets.  Oh well good for day 1.  The countdown is on.  How many days till Cuba?  33?

Happy New Year

Pic - At the cottage during skinnier and warmer days :)

The new year is off to a great start - what we have so far is 6 pounds down - and the knowledge that I'm going to Cuba in 34 days, yeah baby!

I'm going to crank up the workout schedule with a new workout.  Birth Mom got the Body Express Makeover by Michael George - there is a 10 minute, 20 minute and 30 minute workout.  I want to do the 20 minute workout 3x a week.

Need to stop weighing on a daily basis - this WILL become destructive.  Work out hard - keep track of the calories and the food intake and there will be no need to weigh daily.  Next weigh in day will be January 7th.  If I ever feel the need to weigh in before then, it needs to be in the AM.

Keep going!!! 

Final Day

So far so good.

Birth mom arrived today...I was cursing her earlier in the day, yes sometimes I can't control the bitterness.  I thought she was coming earlier...anyways I was delighted to see her.   So I'll have company for at least a week, but I need to stay in control of the food and the exercise, and I will.  Why you ask?  Well I'm going to Cuba and I need to get down to 130, that is the ideal goal.  That means 12.5 more pounds to go.  I have how many days left?  Let me count.  Ok I have 34 days left before we leave.  12 pounds in 34 days...can I do it?  Patty says for sure, so that's cool and I know I can do this if I focus.  I need to work out everyday, count my calories, no more than 1400 calories a day, ideally between 1200-1300.  It's that easy, right?

The numbers are going down!  They just need to keep going down to pre Christmas weight of 136 at minimum.

Getting some time in on the Wii Fit.  Fun Stuff!

I got on the Wii Fit today, and the numbers do not lie. 

Check this out - December 18 my weight was 136.  Dec 27 weight is 149.  13 pounds in 9 days.  This has to be a record.  Talk about lack of control.  I skipped 140 though 148 and ended up at 149. 

This extra poundage has to melt off of me as quickly as it went on.

Well...Today was the day.  I did it.  I stepped on the scale.  Holy Crap.  148.5.  This is 5.5 pounds more than my guesstimate.  Ok - I have some work to do.  I will be tracking my food on an excel sheet that I found on line.  Not sure if I can post it here?  Maybe I can copy and paste...we'll see.

10 pounds in two weeks.  That is how quick I have gained this last bit of weight.  I have never been this heavy.  This is new, good thing it won't be for long.

I am feeling hungry right now, Think I'll have some carrot sticks.  Don't want to completely obsess about this all day, but need to take action.

Measurements were,  38 hips and 34 waist I think.  I hate measuring.

This pic on the right was taken about three months ago.  I remember thinking then that I needed to get a grip.  I am definitely heavier now.

The pic on the left was taken about 4 months ago.  I felt good that weekend at my girl friends cottage.  Then look at me a month later...it all goes so quickly.

Bingeing on and off today...and drinking, the inlaws are over :).  It's all good, until I weigh in tomorrow :).  Well I need to know where I am to determine where I am going, right?

I will take my measurements too...scary!  

Need to keep track of what I am eating as well.  Now, I originally thought that I would follow the zone principles...now i am thinking that maybe, maybe, maybe I should be following Weight Watchers.  I like the point system, looks pretty easy to follow, and will allow me eat things that I like.  What i like about the zone, it works, but it is soooo restrictive.  I will definitely need to do more research on the WW plan.  In fact I have a co-worker who could help me as she is a leader, we'll see.  Counting points seems to be easier than counting blocks.  Another thing I could do for the "instant" appeal is the Isagenix program, I still have some shake mix left

Reality Check

I guess that I am about 143 right now.  I have not weighed myself in about a week.  Last check I was between 138-140.

Been struggling in and around this weight for a bit.  Last summer when I quit smoking I was horrified at being 138.  I started personal training.  I was unable to make a long term commitment.

I was struggling emotionally back the too.  Struggling with other demons as well.  Trying to gain control, still.  This quest is about gaining control about what I want in my life.

First things first, yes it is vain, but...I want to look good.  You look good, you feel good.

The weight challenge - 130 is the number.  I want to be fit too.  Well I guess I just want the world.  The thing is I just figured it out and the world is for me to have.  It is mine for the taking , so I'm gonna make it all happen.

Day One - Getting Ready

Day One - This blog is for me and my quest for balance.  Balance with food, eating habits, work and other demons.  It s about leading a healthy life and making the right choices.

This is about seeing results - This is a challenge.  Challenge to be the best I can be.  To learn - never give up - the need to grow never stops.